39 Weeks - Enjoying our Last Days as D.I.N.K.s

In the six years that Eric and I have been together, he has taught me quite a few new vocabulary words...mostly slang terms he's picked up over the years, a smattering of "Pittsburgh-ese" and many that he's just made up to fulfill his need for a non-existent word. We've melded many of these terms together to devise our own "Frueh language". I often wonder if someone were a fly on the wall in our home if they would have any idea what we were talking about most of the time. One of the terms Eric has used to describe us is D.I.N.K.s (Dual-Income-No-Kids). He claims it's a real marketing term. Well, our time as D.I.N.K.s is about to come to an end. It's a change we're excited about and definitely ready to embrace. To celebrate our last days in D.I.N.K.-dom, we had a mini-golf date night with a late dinner at a local favorite, Huey's Oyster Bar, live music and all. There are things that I will definitely miss about this phase of our lives, such as going out to restaurants without working around naptimes and feeding schedules, or deciding on a whim to take a weekend trip. But, we're both excited to begin sharing our lives with Molly. I can't wait for Molly's first trip to the ocean with us. I'm excited to show her around our favorite spots in the 'burgh and help her build her first snowman at Marmee and Poppy's house in NY. Eric and I are both excited to share our lives with our new little girl. Good-bye D.I.N.K.-dom, Hello Parenthood!

We've reached the 39-week mark. Molly is considered to be "full-term" anytime between 38 and 42 weeks, so she could choose her birth-day at any point in this 4-week period. My Type-A personality doesn't like the unpredictability of this part of pregnancy, but I guess that's the nature of the process. Molly is preparing herself for the outside world at her own pace. She is producing more surfactant to mature her lungs. She is also shedding the last of the vernix and she's sloughing off her outer layer of skin to reveal the first layer of newly produced mature skin cells underneath. She's already started misbehaving and disobeying her Mama's instructions. For the entire 3rd trimester, Molly has been a perfect angel, positioned "just right" for birth, head down and back out (her back against my belly and her face toward my spine). Well, for the last 2 weeks, she has started a gymnastics routine that involves rolling herself over from back to front and back again. At the last two midwife appointments, she has positioned herself "sunny-side-up" (her belly facing my belly). We don't want her sunny-side-up at delivery time because this usually results in a long labor with lots of back labor and a longer pushing stage. So Molly, if you're listening, this is your Mother speaking, "No more sunny-side up, please!!!".

I believe Molly really does have a sense of what's happening here in the outside world most of the time. For the last few days, I've experienced some fleeting labor signs...scattered Braxton-Hicks contractions, pressure in my legs and lower back, and an uncontrollable urge to clean out the refrigerator. At our last appointment, the midwife said that my cervix had begun to efface, but there was no sign of dilation yet. But I think my Molly knew that she couldn't come until her Marmee was here from NY. Well, today Marmee arrived and Molly knew! She's only been here for about 8 hours and already the Braxton-Hicks have picked up both in frequency and intensity and labor feels much more imminent!! Everyone's ready to meet you, Miss Molly, so let's get this show on the road...sunny-side-down please.

38 Weeks...On Becoming A Mom

It's odd that when you first see those two pink lines on the pregnancy test, the first thought that comes to your mind is, "Oh my gosh, I'm pregnant!!!"...NOT "Oh my gosh, I'm going to be a mother!!!". But somehow, over the course of 9 months or so, God somehow transforms your mind (to match your transformed body!). I have three friends who are all due around the same time as me and, this week, one of them passed that threshold from "Pregnant Woman" to "Mom". In talking with her, it really hit home...I am about to become someone's MOTHER! Seems like I should have thought of this before, huh? Well, of course I knew in my brain what it meant to be a mother. You become pregnant and give birth, and then you're responsible for this person. But I think the message finally made it to my heart this week. And as scary as the concept is, it's also incredibly exciting. God has entrusted us with this little tiny soul to love and nurture and teach. As I'm waiting (and waiting...and waiting...) for my day to pass that "Mom" threshold, I've been thinking of all the lessons I've learned from my parents that I'd like to pass on to Molly:

• You are special. God created you to be exactly who you are. He loves you and so do I.
  


• Cozy houses create cozy families. You may step on each other's toes every once in a while, but you also run into each other more often to exchange hugs and "I love you"s.
  


• Bedtime stories are a "given". There is nothing so important in my day that it would keep me from sending you off to sleep with a story from your favorite book.
  


• I will not run your life. I will create boundaries, but they're there because I love you. Within those boundaries, there is plenty of room to stretch your wings and discover who you are.
  


• Prayer is a part of daily life...like eating and sleeping. Families stay close when they take time to talk each day. The same principle applies to our relationship with God.

These are just some of the most important things I learned from my Mom and they have shaped my image of what a mother is to her daughter. She is a teacher, a leader, a disciplinarian, a mentor, and a friend. It is a strange feeling to now have the tables turned, to be the one worrying about my child and how my decisions are affecting her. As we head into the final weeks of pregnancy I find myself having to make decisions about what kind of birth we'll have and who Molly's pediatrician will be and, all of a sudden, I find myself thinking like a mother. She comes first. My first thoughts are no longer, "How will this affect me?". Instead, I find my mind always going first to, "What is best for Molly?". I am a mother.

The official Birth-Day is growing ever closer. We're at 38 weeks, 10 days from the due date, but my uterus measured at 39.5 cm today at the birth center. (The uterine height in centimeters corresponds to the week of pregnancy you're in). The midwife said that little Miss Molly is definitely running out of space in there but it's her decision as to when she wants to come out. The baby's body sends a chemical signal to the placenta to initiate labor when the baby's ready (isn't this process just amazing!!!). Molly doesn't seem to mind that she's running out of room. She's just as active as ever, twirling and flopping all over the place. The midwife felt that she was "sunny-side-up" at today's appointment (her back facing my back rather than her back facing my belly). But I assured the midwife that she'd pick a new position at least five more times today. And, lo and behold, as soon as we arrived home, that little tushie was poking out, front and center once again!

At 38 weeks, the average baby could weigh anywhere from 5 to 9 pounds and measure in at anywhere from 17 to 21 inches in length. Even though it feels like this journey should be coming to an end, Molly is busy taking care of some last minute business. She is shedding the lanugo (fine downy hairs) and vernix (white oily moisturizer) that's been protecting her skin and keeping her warm for the last 9 months. Her lungs are also busy producing more surfactant. This super-important substance prevents the air sacs in her lungs from sticking to each other when she takes her first breaths. The reason many babies have trouble breathing if labor is induced before 40 weeks gestation is because their lungs had not finished producing surfactant. So, we will wait patiently for our little girl to decide when she's ready to make her debut. We can't wait to meet you, Molly!!!

Weeks 36 & 37: Don't Forget Your Swim Trunks!

Well, the time is ticking by, slowly but surely, as we approach our due date(s). Our first ultrasound pinpointed a due date of July 31st and the little magic spinning wheel that the midwife uses points to August 1st, neither of which probably make much difference to little Miss Molly. I think she'll choose to grace us with her presence when she's good and ready, which we hope is soon! My bets are on August 4th since that will mark 5 months from the day I first felt movement...an old-wives tale trick to determining the due date. Eric hasn't officially placed any bets yet, but he's HOPING for, well, tomorrow. I think he's more impatient than I am! Any other bets out there? If you bet spot on, we may even be able to scrounge up some kind of prize for you :-)

We're up to weekly visits to the Birth Center now that we're in the homestretch, which will switch to daily visits if we go past 41 weeks. So far, everything's been going perfectly. Weight gain is average (30 lbs.), blood pressure is normal (110/70), Molly's heart rate has been hanging right around 150 bpm and my iron measured at 12.6 (anything above 11 is normal). The midwives always tell me I'm their easiest patient all day. Hopefully, the labor will follow the same pattern!

Eric had the opportunity to attend my birth center appointment today and we got a personal tour of the birthing suites. Each of the suites has a full-size bed, private balcony, private bathroom, birthing tub, rocking chair, changing table, bassinet and lots of "labor-helps" (birthing balls, stereo, candles, etc.). They even have a full kitchen where we can prepare meals for after the birth. They do have all the standard emergency equipment that any labor and delivery room would have, but they keep it all neatly hidden away so it won't make you feel like you're in a hospital. The nurse who was giving us our tour was rattling off a list of items we may want to bring with us (iPod, food, etc.) and she had one specific item that she was adamant that Eric NOT forget: his swim trunks. She said that one dad a few weeks ago did not feel the need to bring his swim trunks and the nurses and midwives were not too pleased about the situation! Of course, they encourage the dads to be in the tub with the mom, but this nurse said she didn't sign up for naked dads when she went into labor and delivery! Swim trunks, CHECK!

Now that we've reached the 37th week, Molly is offically considered to be "full-term", which basically means "all systems are go" for life in the outside world. Her lungs are fully mature, her nervous system is working properly, and her digestive system is ready for its first meal. She probably weighs about 6 1/2 pounds and is about 20 inches long. She'll continue to add fat under her skin until her delivery, but as far as growth and maturing, she's pretty much "done". To keep busy until her big debut, Molly's continuing to practice the skills she'll use daily in the extra-utero world: inhaling and exhaling amniotic fluid (to exercise her lungs), sucking her thumb (to practice for feeding), blinking, and pivoting from side to side. I've noticed a pretty consistent activity schedule that tends to fall into a 2-hour cycle, especially at night. Her "belly dancing" tends to wake me at midnight, 2am, 4am, and 6am. We'll see if she keeps that same schedule once she's here on the outside. At least she's consistent.

Weeks 34 & 35: Prepared...Mind, Body, and Spirit

I was never a Girl Scout, but I’ve lived my entire life by their motto, “Be Prepared”. I was the 8-year-old who, three weeks before summer camp, already had my packing list finalized. And it included everything but the kitchen sink because, hey, I had to be prepared for every possible eventuality. As a student, my backpack was always filled with two of everything a week before the first day of school. As a teacher, I’m always the one with extra student rosters on every field trip and a bag filled with sunscreen, water bottles and extra sweatshirts. Well, this little personality quirk of mine has come out full force in the face of pregnancy. From the day we found out we were expecting, I’ve read every single book and article I could get my hands on. I read safety reviews on carseats before we even had the pregnancy confirmed by a doctor. I had the nursery decorated in my mind months ago and the actual tasks of furniture assembly and decorating have been done for weeks now.

I’ve been steadily preparing my body for the rigors of pregnancy, labor, and birth in many ways. Everything from prenatal yoga to pelvic tilts, squats, and, of course, Kegals have found their way into my daily routines. I’ve been walking about 4 miles each day and practicing all the relaxation exercises we learned in our Bradley childbirth class.

I’ve also been preparing my mind for labor and birth by reading everything I can about natural childbirth, relaxation techniques and the ins and outs of the entire process. Eric and I have even done several labor rehearsals where we practice timing contractions and dealing with possible contingencies.

Last, but certainly not least, I’ve prepared my spirit for this entire process. I’ve spent a lot of time praying over the little tiny girl growing and dancing inside me. I have a sense of peace about the labor, birth, and our journey into parenthood because I know that it’s all in the Lord’s hands.

Well, I’ve run into a little problem with my obsession with preparedness. That is that I’m over-prepared WAY too early!!! Every last essential item (and a lot of non-essential items) has been purchased, unwrapped, washed and found a place in the nursery. Not only are all the newborn clothes washed, folded, and put away, but I’ve even purchased and organized clothes all the way up through the 24 month size! Every book has been read. Every relaxation technique has been practiced again and again. I’ve started filling the freezer with meals for the postpartum weeks. My labor playlist is loaded onto my iPod and, yes, I even have the packing list all done for our trip to the birth center. Yet, we have at least three weeks, if not six or seven weeks before Molly is likely to make her grand entrance. What’s an over-prepared girl to do with her time? My days are spent reading, journaling, napping and, now, watching Wimbledon. But, the time just seems to creep by at an infinitely slow pace. Everyone tells me that Molly will be here before I know it, but it just seems to be so far away. I just can’t wait to meet her. I want to kiss her little hands and stroke her cheeks. I want to watch her sleep and see her dance, rather than just guessing at her activities based on the bulges moving across my belly. I know she’ll come when SHE’S ready, but Molly, I just want to let you know that your mama is ready for you anytime you want to come!

At 35 weeks, Molly probably weighs about 5 lbs. and is about 18 inches long, although the midwife is convinced she’s longer. My uterus is measuring one week ahead of gestation in length because Molly’s taking up so much space. Her head is crammed all the way down into my pelvis but her little tiny tushie has found its way right up under my ribs, which puts her feet right in my stomach on a regular basis. If the midwife is right, we may be in for a tall girl who takes after her Poppy Schillinger. Her physical development (liver, lungs, kidneys, etc.) is complete. Most of her time now will just be spent putting on weight and adding folds and neurons to her developing brain, a process that will continue throughout the toddler years. Sounds like you’re done cooking to me, Miss Molly. Whenever you’re ready to meet your family, we’re prepared for you…perhaps over-prepared :-)